If a loved one has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, time is precious and there are 5 things you need to do.  In part 1 of this article, we discussed determining your loved one’s wishes, helping your loved one document his love, and making sure his estate plan is comprehensive and up-to-date.

Here, we continue:

4.  Listen

Your loved one will likely feel the need to talk about his life and you are helping by simply listening.  He may at times feel angry, ripped off, wishful, sad, happy, satisfied, and scared.  All of these feelings are normal.

5.  Accept Help 

Recognize that you can’t provide everything your loved one needs and that others will feel better if they are able to help.  Let friends and family help where they can, recognizing that not all folks are good at the same things.

• Some family members may be good at dealing with professionals such as the estate planning attorney, CPA, insurance professional, and financial advisor.
• Others may work well with the doctors, nurses, social workers, and hospice team.
• Some may help by cleaning out the garage, while others help by making meals, getting the taxes filed, or running errands.
• Others may contribute by sitting beside or with physical care.

Three More Tips

If you missed it, please continue reading at 5 Things to Do When a Loved One is Dying (part 1 of 2.)

Legacy APC, A Trusts & Estates Law Firm is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.

Are you the glue that holds your family together?  Are you the organizer of family events and holidays?  Are you the person that makes it all happen?  If so, it would likely be in your family’s best interest for you to bring your family in for estate planning in our San Diego estate planning office.

Your Estate Plan

Either during or after your own estate planning, bring your family in to our estate planning law office for a family meeting.  This is a great way for your loved ones to get to know and become comfortable with our San Diego estate planning attorney and our team.

Our attorney will give an overview of estate planning, in general, and will explain how your estate plan will work.  The family estate planning meeting allows your loved ones to ask questions and for you to discuss your choices.  This meeting avoids much future family discord.

Those named in the roles of trusted advisors such as executor, trustees, power of attorney agents, and guardians for minor children will learn about their important roles.  It’s imperative for them to learn ahead of time because a time of mourning or emergency is no time to learn anything.

Your Adult Children’s Estate Plan

If you have children, age 18 or older, they each need their own estate plan.  You are no longer legally authorized to make decisions on their behalf without written legal authorization.

An 18 year old’s estate plan is likely to be quite simple, but it’s important nonetheless.

Your Parents’ Estate Plan

Your parents need their own estate plan as well.  It’s likely time for long term care planning and you’ll be grateful that they have an estate plan in place when they need your help.

If there is no plan in place, a conservatorship proceeding is necessary.  Conservatorships are heart-breaking, expensive, time consuming, stressful, and a loss of control.  The court takes over.

If your parents have a plan in place but it’s more than five years old, it’s time for them to come in for estate planning.

Legacy APC, A Trusts & Estates Law Firm is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.

If you have elderly parents, there are likely three generations in your family that all need estate planning: you, your parents, and your adult children. For those with elderly parents, there are important estate planning considerations:

• Your elderly parents may fear losing control of their finances and their lives. Proceed with caution and great respect.

• Your elderly parents may fear the onslaught of dementia. Gently support them in getting medical treatment and having open and honest discussions with the doctor.

• Sometimes, elderly parents attempt to hide symptoms of dementia because they are afraid and/or ashamed. Never shame. Always support.

• Elderly parents often deal with depression especially if they have failing health, the loss of a spouse, the loss of friends and siblings, and the loss of independence. Depression can be treated with medication. There is no reason anyone should suffer.

• Many elderly parents should not be driving, but they are hesitant to give up their driver’s license because it is the last line of defense in losing their independence. If your parents have a HIPAA release and your are authorized to do so, speak with your parents’ doctors about the driving issue.

• Talk to your elderly parents about estate planning. Gently ask what planning is already in place. If comprehensive and up to date planning is not in place, suggest that they meet with an estate planning attorney and offer to make the arrangements and drive them.

• Gently explain that if your parents don’t have powers of attorney for health care, you can’t help them with medical decisions and a court might have to intervene.

• Gently explain that if your parents don’t have powers of attorney for finances, you can’t help them with paying bills and taking care of day to day business. If they become too ill to take care of these matters themselves, the court will have to intervene.

• Court intervention is expensive, time consuming, an invasion of privacy, and public.

If you have questions about elderly parent estate planning considerations, consult with an estate planning attorney.

Legacy APC, A Trusts & Estates Law Firm is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.

If you include a trust in your estate plan it can be helpful in a number of different situations, but it is important that it be drawn up correctly, as well as funded. Although most people don’t think about some of the scenarios that could cause them and their family problems, these things could happen to anyone. There are a number of situations that could cause you or your family a great deal of grief.

Some of the situations where a trust could be helpful include,

Avoiding a conservatorship. Often when someone becomes incapacitated, a family member must go to court to get conservatorship so that they can handle their financial affairs. If you have a trust there is no need for this because the successor trustee will administer the trust according the specifications you included in the trust documents.

Avoiding probate is one of the most common reasons why people include a trust as part of their estate plan. The reason that it is important to keep your estate out of probate is because this process puts the court in charge of overseeing the settlement of an estate. Not only can this process take a long time, but it can also be quite expensive.

A trust will also ensure that the details of your estate are kept private. When someone dies their will because public record and anyone can get access to it, but this isn’t the case with a trust. If your estate goes into probate, everyone from the person next door to debt collectors will know what you left your heirs.

With a trust it is easier to leave property to different people. If you create a separate trust for what you want to leave each beneficiary, there will be no room for contesting your wishes. For example, if you have a beach house in Florida that you are going to leave your sister, and a condo in New York that you want to leave your son, creating a separate trust for each simplifies this, and there will be fewer problems for your beneficiaries.

A trust makes it a lot more difficult for someone to contest your wishes. When an estate goes through probate it leaves the door open for someone to contest your wishes. A trust does not go through probate so the process of litigation is not quite as easy and may discourage someone from going to court to contest your will.

Legacy APC, A Trusts & Estates Law Firm is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.

Although the prospect of estate planning can be a little intimidating at first, most people feel far less anxious about their future after having an effective plan in place. After all, one of the primary goals of estate planning is helping to ensure that you can enjoy the security and peace of mind that comes with knowing that your family members and loved ones will be well provided for after you are gone.

Of course, if you’re just getting started with the estate planning process, you may not be sure where to start but never fear, a qualified estate planning attorney will be able to identify the procedures that apply to your situation and focus on solutions that make sense for you.

Just remember that the best estate plan is one that is personalized to your circumstances; when it comes to estate planning, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Here are a few of the factors that will impact the shape that your estate plan will take.

• Children. Whether your children are minors or independent adults, providing for their care and inheritance will likely comprise a major part of the estate planning process.

• Wills. For people such as healthy younger adults with few assets, a will may be the only estate planning tool that is necessary for the time being. However, for most older adults and those with children, property, and assets, a will is likely to be one component of a larger strategy.

• Estate taxes. The old adage may hold that the only two inevitable outcomes in life are death and taxes, but a qualified estate planning attorney can significantly reduce your estate tax liability through savvy strategizing.

• Probate. If you pass away without a will, or if certain aspects of your estate plan are contested or called into question, your estate could be subject to probate, a legal review process that is often costly and slow-moving. A qualified estate planning attorney can help you choose investments and tools that can help your estate avoid probate.

• Property. Whether you choose to distribute your assets and property via your will, a trust, a tenancy agreement, or using some other manner, the distribution arrangement and mechanism will constitute an important part of the estate planning process.

A qualified estate planning attorney can help you determine what the components of your estate plan should be. Set up a consultation today to get a personalized assessment of your situation.

Legacy APC, A Trusts & Estates Law Firm is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.